


It Helped Me

by ImaKaraTabiHe



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: ! Don't read unless you don't mind a different perspective !, But they talk it over, Can be offensive to some, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Growing Up, If you're ready and willing to take a step - see about getting help, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It shouldn't be a stigma, May anger readers, Mental Health First Aid, Mental Health isn't a joke, Mild Language, Offensive Topics, References to Depression, Self-harm hurts, Self-harm leads to scars, Self-harm shouldn't make you feel damaged, Serious Talks, Slice of Life, Tony is kind of an ass, Trigger warnings: Self-harm, upsetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:35:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7579642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaKaraTabiHe/pseuds/ImaKaraTabiHe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter talks about learning Mental Health First Aid in class at dinner with the Avengers.  Unfortunately, there's someone who doesn't believe in something Peter's learned in that class and things blow up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This work contains references to depression as well as several to self-harm. Facts in this work were used from a Mental Health First Aid Class.
> 
> * Please note: This fic isn't saying self-harm is okay or fine. Not meant to "romanticize" self-harm in any way shape or form. Please use the resources on the second half if you find yourself in need. *

“So what did you learn in class today, Peter?” Steve asked as he set food down on the table. The rest of the Avengers were slowly flooding into the room, little by little when the smell of food attracted their attention.

Peter kicked his feet, sitting in his chair at the table, chin resting in his palm as his elbow did on the table. “Lots of things,” Peter replied with a shrug.

“What's 'lots of things' these days?” Clint asked, plopping down next to Bruce, who was nursing a cup of green tea.

“What do you think it means Barton? Sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll,” Tony snarked, sitting beside Peter. Natasha sat on the other side of Clint with Bucky sitting on her other side. Steve sat beside Peter as he finished putting the rest of the food on the table.

Steve gave Tony a look. Tony raised his arms in surrender.

“Don't listen to Tony,” Steve smiled at Peter.

“He just needs to stop mainstreaming coffee,” Clint quipped, dodging a breadstick Tony threw at Clint, who scowled.

Sam was the last to arrive, raising an eyebrow at Clint who was poised to throw a breadstick in retaliation but froze when Steve glared daggers at Clint. The archer then lowered his arm, dropping the breadstick with a childish pout on his plate.

“So, how was class?” Sam unknowingly echoed Steve as he sat down beside Tony.

Everyone had started piling food onto their plates by this time. Peter took a bit of his salad and shrugged as he swallowed.

“We had a special lesson today on Mental Health First Aid,” he relayed.

“Oh?' Sam leaned closer to Peter, looking interested.

“Mhm!” Peter said as he bit into his spaghetti. “Did you know that self-harm can actually be a good thing?” he questioned, eyes on his food and distracted to the point that he didn't notice the way Tony tensed beside him.

“How's that.” Tony ground out, fingers curling around his cutlery dangerously.

“Oh. It's because the person who's self-harming uses it as a way to bleed away stress that would otherwise build up to a dangerous point. Plus self-harming is something that people notice and when they notice they are able to help,” Peter replies, before sipping his water.

“It doesn't do shit!” Tony snapped, eyes flashing with anger.

Peter startled and spilled his water over the table, soaking the bowl of breadsticks in front of him. He turned to Tony with wide, fearful eyes.

“Tony!” Steve stood, followed by Bucky and Natasha, eyes narrowing at Tony. One of Sam's hands, gripped Tony's arm, keeping him still.

Peter scooted closer to Steve, keeping his gaze on Tony's red face and flared nostrils.

“Tony,” Bruce started, voice a less than veiled warning.

Tony glared at Bruce, “No! He needs to know that that's all fucking bullshit! Self-harm helps no fucking person! Ever!”

Hearing Tony's words, Peter's face hardened and his fists clenched on his chair with such strength that the wood creaked.

“Tony.” Clint frowned at the oddly enraged man.

“Don't you start Barton. Kid needs to know that all that shit about it helping is just that. Shit. It's a bunch of placebo bullshit when they convince themselves that it helps.”

Peter's eyes narrowed as he mouthed 'placebo bullshit' to himself, processing with heat bubbling up inside him.

“It's _never_ a good thing and whoever the fuck told him that is an absolute moron,” Tony continued ranting.

“Sir--” Jarvis started to interrupt.

“No, J. This is human dumbassery that needs to be dealt with here and now,” Tony spat out.

Unable to take it anymore, Peter stood, chair falling behind him. He ignored it as he slammed his hand on the table so hard it splinted under his hand. “ENOUGH!” He yelled at Tony, his own face red and eyes flaring with anger.

“IT HELPED ME!”

Tony glared at Peter, opening his mouth to argue when he blinked. His brows furrowed together, mouth coming together in a frown of confusion. “Wait. What?”

While Tony was the only confused one, the rest of the Avengers had stilled in their positions, attention focused solely on Peter. They held themselves ready to give Tony a good bop over the head if needs be.

“I said, it helped me,” Peter said, form shaking with a mixture of anger and fear.

Tony frowned, looking him over. It was hard to equate the idea of self-harm and Peter – their Peter. The same Peter who quipped, fought bad guys, kicked their butt in games, and made them laugh during their darkest moments.

When it failed to compute in his head, Tony looked at Steve, blinking. He flinched when Steve's eyes met his with a disapproving glare. A quick glance at the others assured him that they weren't too happy with him either.

Looking back, he took a double take. Peter was gone. He'd been there just a few seconds before. Or had it been longer? His brows furrowed as he looked around. There was no sign of him besides the overturned chair and the splinter bits of the table.

“What? Where'd he go?”

Bucky scoffed. “Like you could give a damn. Seriously, Stark? You don't just go off like that without taking some damn consideration,” Bucky swore at him, looking angry as he pushed away from the table and got up to walk out the door without looking back.

Peter sat on the roof of Avengers Tower, arms curled around his legs with his knees against his chest, watching the city. “He didn't mean it, you know.” Peter turned his head and squinted to see Bucky in the growing dark.

Snorting, he replied bitterly, “He meant it.”

Bucky plopped down beside Peter. “Yeah, he did.” Peter's brows furrowed in confusion. Wasn't he supposed to try to convince him that Tony really didn't mean it? That Tony was just being an asshole?

Quirking an eyebrow, Bucky added, “Just because he meant it though, doesn't mean that he can't learn. Remember? You can teach an old dogs new tricks.”

Peter chuckled a little. He liked the idea of comparing Tony to an old dog. He'd made the comparison towards Bucky and Steve so often that he forgot that the idea could be used against him. 'Dumbass,' Peter thought towards Tony.

“Do.. do you think he will?” Peter hesitantly spoke up.

He should've known by now than to look for little white lies of comfort from Bucky. Still, it was rather refreshing to not have someone lie to him. Bucky shrugged, “Who knows. It's Tony.”

Peter leaned back, supported by his arms and stretched his legs as the fear and anger began to fade from his system, leaving him feeling tired, exhausted. He felt like he went ten rounds with Doctor Doom.

“I hope he will..” Peter murmured. He honestly did. He liked Tony. Peter didn't want to be mad at him and quite frankly, he definitely didn't want to be mocked by him. Sure Tony did a lot of mocking, _a lot,_ but it was never meant to be hurtful towards him. If Tony turned a hurtful word.. one that he meant towards Peter, he wasn't sure if they could remain friends.

Bucky sat with Peter until it the city lights shone brightly in the night. When Peter shivered a little bit from a cool breeze, Bucky suggested hot chocolate and could Peter ever turn down hot chocolate? No. So they ventured back inside to the kitchen.

Peter plopped down at the kitchen bar counter on a stool as Bucky got out a pot and the necessary hot chocolate ingredients because “Swiss Miss isn't real hot chocolate”. Peter smiled as he watched Bucky stir in cocoa.

“Um.. Peter?” Someone cleared their throat and Peter frowned, looking at the doorway to find Tony standing there, looking sheepish and guilty.

Bucky looked over from his cooking with a warning glare as Tony awkwardly shuffled closer to Peter. Peter, in response, had to fight between the urges to flee or punch something as the memories from earlier bubbled up.

“I'm sorry,” Tony blurted out nervously.

Blinking, it took Peter a few seconds to recognize that Tony – _Tony Stark, billionaire, philanthropist, Iron_ _M_ _an –_ just apologized to him. Or apologized in general.

“What?” Peter said, dumbly.

“I didn't.. Okay, so I totally meant what I said earlier,” Tony stated, biting his lower lip. Bucky tensed, fingers curling indentations into the metal whisk he was using.

“But,” Tony continued, “I.. think I was wrong.” Peter's brows furrowed.

“I.. I just..” he shuffled until continuing after a deep breath. “I don't understand,” Tony admitted.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at Tony as he poured hot chocolate into mugs, leaving the rest in the pot on the stove to keep warm in case anyone wanted seconds.

“I can't understand how anyone would see self-harming as a good thing. People die. Suicide is a terrible thing and it sucks.”

Peter inclined his head, he could agree that suicide was tragic. It was heartbreaking, even. “Do you.. want to learn? I think we have some hot chocolate leftover.” Peter's fingers curled around his mug of hot chocolate stiffly, restraining from breaking it with his super strength.

Tony recognized Peter's offer to talk, to explain, to teach, as what it really was – a peace offering. Peter valued Tony's friendship and Tony would be lying to say he hadn't come to treasure their spandex clad spider. “Could you..?”

Peter exchanged a quick glance with Bucky before Bucky smiled and got out a third mug for hot chocolate. “Of course,” Peter replied with a small smile.

When Peter gestured to an empty stool, Tony sat down, sending a grateful smile towards Bucky for his mug of hot chocolate before he looked at Peter.

Peter took a deep breath before he began. “Well.. when I was just starting out as Spider-Man...” And Peter told him about everything. About Norman Osborne, Harry, Flash, Gwen, his Uncle Ben, Venom.. everything that had happened to him and how he'd found himself collapsing under the stress and trauma of being a teenage vigilante and how that led to his depression and using self-harming as a way to relieve his guilt.

He told Tony about how a friend, another super, had found out about it and had helped him find help and even found a way to relieve the burden he'd felt had been heavy on his shoulders. He explained that he'd self-harmed as a way to get through every day. How it had helped him make it without collapsing and, eventually, get help from his friend.

After some more questions on Tony's part and some responses on Peter's, with Bucky being a silent third, Tony was silent before finally saying, “I think I get it now.”

Tony hesitated for a second before he set his empty mug aside and wrapped Peter up in a hug. “I was such an ass.. Forgive me?”

Peter nodded, hugging Tony back with a little extra strength. “Always,” he murmured to Tony, voice cracking a little. “Thank you for understanding.”


	2. ***Resources***

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A list of resources and a few tips to find mental health care facilities and websites to help assist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This list is for anyone to use for their own discretion and whether you use or it not, the decision ultimately lies with you. You may not feel the need to use it now, but please note that it will remain posted for anyone and everyone to read. If you ever desire the information, it will be ready and waiting for you.
> 
> (Please remember, I'm not an expert. I'm just me.)

[NAMI](https://www.nami.org/About-NAMI)

\- NAMI is the United States' largest organization regarding mental health and mental health care.  They are more than likely in every state, and even if you're from a small town/city, I've found that there tends to be a local branch.  It's funded through gifts and donations.  Many of the programs contain volunteers, and there are a wide variety of programs available.

Their website contains a lot of research materials and works to educate the public about mental health and the difficulties surrounding the topic.  They also have events, such as NAMIWalks and more.

During a crisis, anyone can text NAMI to 741741 to receive immediate help.  During their business hours, you can also call and speak to someone.  They can refer you to either a nearby mental health clinic or to a local NAMI branch.

LGBT+, active military, veterans, teens, families, law enforcement, etc.  They are there to help anyone in need.

[Mental Health First Aid](https://twitter.com/MHFirstAidUSA?utm_source=Adestra&utm_medium=email&utm_term=Varies&utm_content=Join%20us%20on%20Twitter&utm_campaign=MHFA%20Monthly%20-%20June%202018)

\- This resource, unlike NAMI, contains a variety of information, such as how to start a conversation about the topic, ways to support others, and how to improve your non-verbal listening skills.  They also set up courses on Mental Health First Aid which are great to use to learn, help others, or even to help yourself.  Whether it's for you or someone else, their courses/training can help put you into the shoes of someone with a mental illness to better understand others.

A Mental Health First Aid lesson?  Having a mental illness isn't a stigma.  They strive to teach the public that it's not something to be embarrassed about.  It's an illness and those that have it are no less human than anyone else, therefore they should be treated as such.  We all need help sometimes, and it's _okay._

For anyone interested in learning more, they will be having a live chat (#BeTheDifference) about the "awkward" conversation about mental health on June 21, 2018 @ 2p.m. - 3p.m. ET.

[Vaya Mindful](http://vayamindful.org/)

\- Different from the earlier two sources, this website offers free _anonymous_ mental health screenings.  Taking the screening entails answering questions about how you're feeling, explanation about your behavior/feelings, and finally, will help give you information about what you could do next and what you can do to help yourself.

The screenings are not linked to individuals, so you can't be linked to any screening.

[Active Minds](https://www.activeminds.org/)

\- You may have heard of this resource recently.  Actor and screenwriter Wentworth Miller was recently named Active Minds' Ambassador for Mental Health.  He presented a lecture about mental health that is really amazing and empowering.  Of course, he's been an active advocate for mental health care, so he's spoken about the topic many times.  Here's a video of him speaking at an Active Minds conference: [Wentworth Miller on Active Minds (FB)](https://www.facebook.com/activemindsinc/videos/vb.26963502675/10153835557022676/?type=2&theater).

Like NAMI, it's a non-profit group that advocates for and educates on the subject of mental health.  They also have pages dedicated to statistics and how to get treatment, as well as symptoms and signs about mental illnesses.  They, too, are actively starting conversations about mental health and the need for more resources and programs dedicated to helping those with mental illnesses.

Sliding Scale Clinics

\- With the websites listed above, it's easier to get immediate help/information when searching for assistance.  There are, however, options for physically seeking help that are at low cost or free.

Sliding scale mental health clinics are highly advantageous and a great way to get help without having to drain your finances.  These types of clinics offer their services to people with a fees are based on their income.  Those with a low income pay a small fee.  There are also classes available to assist with self-care and recovery.

In addition to the above information about sliding scale clinics, clinics might also offer free services like one-on-one counseling, as well as free visits to a prescription treatment specialist.  Free one-on-one counseling may be due to government programs that the government pays for.  They might also have programs to help you get a job or recover from drug/alcohol abuse.

To my knowledge, these clinics typically provide a comfortable atmosphere for you to be yourself.  Part of the LGBT+?  Mixed race?  Immigrant?  You're welcome there.  You don't have to share more information than you're willing.  If you only want a counselor to know?  That's up to you, but what matters most is your wellbeing.

 

* There are, of course, a lot of other online resources to choose from, however, I wanted to add the top three I know of that are extremely useful. More resources may be added later. And again, I'm just an average person with a desire to help and assist.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember that these resources are here for you whenever you need them. There is help out there.
> 
> If you think you need help, ask. You don't have to deal with it alone.

**Author's Note:**

> So.. Thank you for reading this, first and foremost.
> 
> I was really hesitant to upload this fanfic because I took a class on the subject and when I mentioned what I learned, some of my friends' reactions were much like Tony's and I got really upset over it. I did self-harm in the past. I was worried about reactions about "what if I posted this" and whether or not people would react like my friends did, but another friend of mine told me that he really liked it and it helped him to understand, so I finally got the courage to complete and post this.
> 
> I understand that no everyone will agree with this work, but still. Thank you for reading and I hope you were able to enjoy it. Have a cup of hot chocolate (or tea, or coffee). :)
> 
> ***Update 6/12/18****  
> On the second "page", I will be adding a list of ways to get help regarding mental health care, although it may only be specific to the United States. If anyone has an outside source to add, please add it to the comment section.


End file.
